Music 

Music can play a large part in personalising funeral services. Music can be played when the mourners enter and exit the chapel, and hymns or personalised music can be played when the curtains close or at any other time during the service - entirely at the discretion of those making the funeral arrangements.

When choosing pieces of music, consideration should be given to their total playing time, and whether this will impact on the rest of the service time booked.

Organ

The Willow chapel is fitted with an organ. Although there is no organ at the Oak chapel, you may bring in your own musical instrument such as an electronic organ and use the chapel's sound system. If you wish to use the organ at the Willow chapel then you will need to hire an organist - we are able to supply contact details of local organists.

Occasionally, we have requests for members of the family to play the organ in the Willow chapel themselves. This facility is available, but we do suggest that they visit the chapel a few days before the funeral to familiarise themselves with the organ layout.

Hymn CD

A specialist hymn system is available for playing standard hymns with a choir to aid with singing. Checks need to be made several days before the service to ensure that the desired hymn is available. If a special hymn is required, this can be obtained from our music suppliers, but at least 4 days notice is needed and contact needs to be made with the crematorium office by either the funeral director or person arranging the funeral. Please remember that hymn words printed on the order of service need to match our music system.

CDs

Your own CDs can be played on the crematoriums sound system. However, consideration should be given to the quality of the CD, as these often do not play the same on different machines.

CDs need to be brought to the Crematorium at least one clear day prior to the service so that we can check they play well. By having any CDs early enough, we can avoid any problems on the day of the service.

Service books and service sheets

We have two books available in the chapel for use during services; Hymns Ancient and Modern New Standard Version and Funeral Services of the Christian Churches in England.

You may also make personalised service sheets to include hymns, photographs, special poems, sayings or other details so that mourners are able to follow the service on the day. You could also include any directions or details of where donations may be sent. If you are using a funeral director, they can advise you further or you can contact the Crematorium office for suggestions, help and advice on contents.

Poetry

Poetry often expresses emotions in a very clear and simple way. You may like to use some of these suggestions, or you may have your own favourite readings.

Several books that may be useful are listed below. You can reserve a book for collection at your local library or browse the books at Amazon.

 

• All in the end is harvest: An anthology for those who grieve
  
  Agnes Whitaker (ed) (1996) London Darton, Longman and Todd. ISBN: 0232516243. Prose and poetry published in association with Cruse Bereavement Care
  
   
• Do not go gentle: Poems for funerals
  
  Neil Astley (ed) (2003) Tarset: Bloodaxe Books. ISBN: 1852246359. Traditional and contemporary poems for people of all faiths, agnostics and atheists
  
   
• The long pale corridor: Contemporary poems of bereavement
  
  Judi Benson and Agneta Falk (eds) (1996). Newcastle upon Tyne: Bloodaxe Books. ISBN: 1852243171.
  
   
• Poems and Readings for Funerals
  
  Julia Watson (ed) (2004). London. Penguin Books. ISBN: 0141014962.
  
   
• In Loving Memory A collection for Memorial Services, Funerals and Just Getting By
  
  Sally Emerson (ed) (2004). London. Little Brown. ISBN: 0316725994. 

Popular poems and sayings

All Is Well

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I, and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way, which you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the shadow of a trace on it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolutely unbroken continuity

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you

For an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well



Henry Scott Holland

Have Faith

Have faith in love and do not fear the sadness that comes

When someone has gone away.

For love is deeper than the deepest sorrow:

Its light can reach beyond the darkest day.

Have faith in love... for love is sure and constant;

A tie too strong for time and loss to sever.

And for those who love, there are no final partings.

Where love has been, there love will be forever

I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there, I do not sleep;

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints of snow;

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain;

When you awaken in the morning's hush;

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight,

I am the soft stars that shine at night;

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there

I did not die.

If I knew

If I knew it would be the last time

that I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly

and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time

that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss

and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time

I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would videotape each action and word,

so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I could spare an extra minute

to stop and say "I love you,"

instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time

I would be there to share your day,

Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,

so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow

to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance

to make everything just right.

There will always be another day

to say "I love you,"

And certainly there's another chance

to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,

and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you

and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,

young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance

you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,

why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,

you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time

for a smile, a hug, or a kiss

and you were too busy to grant someone,

what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,

and whisper in their ear,

Tell them how much you love them

and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"

"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes,

you'll have no regrets about today.

If I Should Go

If I should go before the rest of you,

break not a flower nor inscribe a stone,

nor, when I am gone, speak in a Sunday voice,

but be the usual selves that I have known.

Weep, if you must; parting is hell,

but life goes on, so sing as well.



Joyce Grenfell

Leisure

What is life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows

No time to see when woods we pass

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass

No time to see, in broad daylight

Streams full of stars, like skies at night

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance

And watch her feet, how they can dance

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.



William Henry Davies

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land

When you can no more hold me by the hand

Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you planned

Only remember me, you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had

Better by far that you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.



Christina Rossetti

Success

To laugh often and love much;

to win the respect of intelligent persons

and the affection of children;

to earn the approbation of honest critics

and to endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate beauty;

to find the best in others;

to give of one’s self;

to leave the world a little better,

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch

or a redeemed social condition;

to have played and laughed with enthusiasm

and sung with exultation;

to know that even one life has breathed easier

because you have lived –

this is to have succeeded.



Ralph Waldo Emerson

They Do Not Leave

They do not leave. They are not gone,

They look upon us still,

They walk among the valley now,

They stride upon the hill.

Their smile is in the summer sky,

Their grace is in the breeze,

Their memories whisper in the grass

Their calm is in the trees.

Their tears are in the gentle rain,

Their sigh is in the autumn leaves

They do not leave, They are not gone

It’s only us who grieve.

We Remember

When we are weary and in need of strength

When we are lost and sick at heart,

We remember him/her

When we have a joy we crave to share

When we have decisions that are difficult to make

When we have achievements that are based on his/hers

We remember him/her

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,

We remember him/her

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,

We remember him/her

At the rising of the sun and at it's setting,

We remember him/her

As long as we live he/she will live,

For he/she is now a part of us,

And we remember him/her.

We Hold You Close

We hold you close within our hearts

And there you shall remain

To walk with us throughout our lives

Until we meet again

So rest in peace dear loved one

And thanks for all you’ve done

We pray that God has given you

The crown you’ve truly won

What Is Dying

A Ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon,

And someone at my side says, “She has gone!”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight, that is all;

She is just as large as when I saw her…

The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says,

“She is gone”, there are others who are watching her coming,

and other voices take up a glad shout,

“there she come!”

And that is dying.



Several versions of this poem are attributed to Bishop Brent, Henry Van Dyke, Victor Hugo and others

You Can Shed Tears

You can shed tears that they’ve gone,

Or you can smile because they have lived.

You can close your eyes and pray they’ll come back,

Or you can open you eyes and see all they have left you.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see them,

Or your heart can be full of the love you’ve shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember them and only that they’ve gone,

Or you can cherish their memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

Be empty and turn your back,

Or you can do what they’d want;

Smile, open your eyes, love and journey on.



David Harkins

Miss you

I miss you in the morning, dear

When all the world is new;

I know the day can bring no joy

Because it brings not you.

I miss the well-loved voice of you,

Your tender smile for me,

The charm of you, the joy of your

Unfailing sympathy.

The world is full of folks, it’s true,

But there was only one of you.

I miss you at the noontide, dear;

The crowded city street

Seems but a desert now, I walk

In solitude complete.

I miss your hand beside my own

The light touch of your hand,

The quick gleam in the eyes of you

So sure to understand.

The world is full of folks, it’s true,

But there was only one of you.

I miss you in the evening, dear,

When daylight fades away;

I miss the sheltering arms of you

To rest me from the day,

I try to think I see you yet

There where the firelight gleams –

Weary at last, I sleep, and still

I miss you in my dreams.

The world is full of folks, it’s true,

But there was only one of you.

A Navaho Prayer

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me

I want no rites in a gloom filled room

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not for long

And not with your head bowed low

Remember the love that once we shared

Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take

And each must go alone.

Its all part of the master plan

A step on the road to home,

When you are lonely and sick at heart

Go to the friends we know.

Laugh at all the things we used to do

Miss me, but let me go.

Grieve for me, for I would grieve for you.

Then brush away the sorrow and tears

Life is not over, but begins anew,

with courage you must great the coming years.

To live forever in the past is wrong;

Can only cause you misery and pain.

Dwell not on memories overlong,

With other you must share and care again.

Reach out and comfort those who comfort you;

Recall the years, but only for a while.

Nurse not your loneliness; but live again.

Forget not.

Remember with a smile.

Afterglow

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.

I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done.

I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways.

Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun.

Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

It was beautiful

It was beautiful ….As long as it lasted

The journey of my life.

I have no regrets whatsoever

Save the pain I’ll leave behind.

Those dear hearts …. Who love and care

And the strings pulling at the heart and soul.

The strong arms that held me up

When my own strength let me down.

At every turning of my life

I came across good friends,

Friends, who stood by me … Even when time raced me by.

Farwell! Farwell my friends;

I Smile and bid you goodbye.

No I shed no tears …. For I need them not,

All I need is your smile.

If you feel sad do think of me

For that’s what I’ll like

When you live in the hearts of those you love;

Remember then …. You never die.

A measurement of worth

Not, how did they die, but how did they live?

Not, what did they gain, but what did they give?

These are the units to measure the worth.

Of a person as a person, regardless of birth.

Not, what was their church, nor what was their creed?

But for their work and their care

For those people in need:

Their strength for their children

Their love for their partners in life.

But had they befriended those really in need?

Were they every ready, with a word of good cheer,

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

These are the units that measure a life.

Not, what did they sketch in the newspaper say,

But how many were sorry when they passed away?

Indian Prayer

When I am dead

Cry for me a little

Think of me sometimes

But not too much.

Think of me now and again

As I was in life

At some moments it's pleasant to recall

But not for long.

Leave me in peace

And I shall leave you in peace

And while you live

Let your thoughts be with the living.

Word

There is a word,

of grief the sounding token.

There is a word bejewelled with bright tears.

The saddest word fond lips have ever spoken,

A little word that breaks the chain of years.

Its utterance must ever bring emotion,

The memories it crystals cannot die.

‘Tis known in every land,

on every ocean,

It is Goodbye.

Short sayings

• Deep peace of the running weave to you
  
  Deep peace of the flowing air to you
  
  Deep peace of the quiet earth to you
  
  Deep peace of the shining stars to you
  
  Deep peace of the heart of peace to you.
  
   
• May the road rise to meet you
  
  May the wind be always at your back
  
  May the sun shine warm upon your face
  
  May the rain fall softly on your fields
  
  Until we meet again
  
  May he hold you in the hollow of his hand.
  
   
• We give thanks for the life of insert name………
  
  and for all that we can remember and treasure.
  
  Help us to have trust for the future
  
  and strength to face every new circumstance in life.